Everyone fails at some points in life, and failure can be a crushing experience. The main thing that separates successful people from the rest is how they respond to their fail.


When facing some obstacles, you have to choose in case you’re going to let them be the excuse for your failure or if you’re going to make them the story behind your success.

“There is no failure. Only feedback.” -Robert Allen

When you embrace the right attitude, failure is a great experience. Failure interrupts your routine and gives you an opportunity to explore new things, but only if you have the right disposition.

Some of the best lessons in life are also the toughest to accept and to adopt the right attitude toward. These are the lessons that challenge your adaptability and willingness to learn. When we don’t embrace them soon enough, the lessons we learn turn out to be brutal ones.


1. The first step is always the hardest. When you want to accomplish something important, that initial step is definitely going to be daunting, even frightening. When you dare to make that first move, anxiety and fear dissipate in the name of action. Individuals that dive headfirst into taking that brutal first step aren’t any stronger than the rest of us. They’ve simply learned that it yields extraordinary results. They know that the pain of getting started is inevitable and that procrastination only prolongs their suffering.


2. Good things take time. Accomplishment, most importantly, requires time and effort. Author Malcolm Gladwell suggested that mastery of anything requires 10,000 hours of tireless focus. Many successful people would agree. Consider Henry Ford, whose first two automobile businesses failed before he started Ford at the age of 45, or author Harry Bernstein, who dedicated his entire life to writing before he finally landed a best-seller at the age of 96. When you finally do succeed, you realize that the journey was the best part of it.


Harsh Lessons


3. Being busy does not equal being productive. Take a look at everyone around you. They are so caught up with, running from meeting to meeting and firing off e-mails. Yet how many of them are really producing, really succeeding at a high level? Achievement doesn’t come from movement and activity. It comes from focus, from ensuring that your time is used efficiently and productively. All you get is the same number of hours in the day as everyone else, so use them wisely. After all, you’re the product of your output not your effort. Make certain your efforts are dedicated to assignments that get results.


4. You will always have less control than you want. There are excessively extenuating circumstances in life to control every outcome. You can control how you react to things that are out of your control. Your reaction is what transforms a mistake into a learning experience and ensures that a victory doesn’t send your ego through the roof. You can’t win every battle and with the right attitude you can win every war.


5. You’re only as good as those you associate with. You ought strive to surround yourself with individuals who inspire you, people who make you want to be better. And you probably do. But what about the individuals who drag you down? Why do you allow them to be part of your everyday life? Any individual who makes you feel worthless, anxious or kills your inspiration is wasting your time and, quite possibly, making you more like them. Life is too short to be around people like this. Cut them loose.


Harsh Lessons


6. Your biggest problems are mental. Almost all our problems happen because we time travel. We go to the past and regret things we’ve done, or we go to the future and feel anxious about events that haven’t even happened yet. It’s all very simple to slip into the past or fly into the future. When you do, you lose sight of the one thing that you can actually control, and that is the present.


7. Your self-worth must come from within. When your feeling of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself with other people, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. When you like something that you’ve done, don’t allow anyone’s opinions or accomplishments to take that away from you. While it’s difficult to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself with other people and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, regardless of what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from inside. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain, you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.


8. Not everyone will support you. In fact, most people won’t. Some people will inundate you with negativity, passive aggression, anger or jealousy.  We can’t possibly get support from everyone, and we definitely can’t spend our time and energy trying to win over the people who don’t support us. The opinions of people who don’t matter arranges time and energy for the people and things that do.


9. Perfection doesn’t exist. Try not to look for flawlessness as your target. It doesn’t exist. People, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your target, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to surrender or lower your effort. You wind up spending your time regretting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently, instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you’ll accomplish later on.


10. Fear is the number one source of regret. At the point when all is said and done, you will lament the chances you didn’t take far more than you will your failures. Don’t be afraid to take risks. I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you — the bad thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.


Bringing It All Together

Successful people never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes and they learn from their achievements, and they’re always changing themselves for the better.